Молчаливый крик о помощи — самоповреждения (Self-Harm)

Самоповреждения (англ. self-injury, self-harm)
От 1до 3% людей наносят себе повреждения Подавляющее большинство их них — подростки, но встречаются и взрослые. Конечно, есть те, кто наносит себе какой-то вред только один раз за всю жизнь. Однако у части людей такое поведение становится привычным, и носит компульсивный, навязчивый характер. Самоповреждения встречаются по всему миру и во всех слоях общества. Обычно начинаются в подростковом возросте, и к ним относятся такие действия, как выдирание волос, расчесывание кожи, кусание ногтей, резанье кожи, вырезание, прижигание, втыкание иголок, ломание костей и препятствование заживлению ран.

81e9ec4101644252ca0ee47ed4eeb6baСреди подростков практикующих самоповреждения 13% делают это более 1 раза в неделю, 20% несколько раз в месяц под воздействием определенного вида стресса. Есть две группы причин, которыми объясняют такие действия:

1)        у подростка либо слишком много эмоций, с которыми он не может справиться и, боль от самоповреждения дает им выход;

2)        эмоций нет совсем, он ощущает себя бесчувственным и нанесение себе раны или ушиба дает ему возможность почувствовать себя живым.

После причинения себе боли подросток чувствует не только облегчение, но иногда и эйфорию. Некоторые говорят, что боль и текущая кровь вызывают очень приятные переживания, перебивающие те негативные эмоции, которые мучили до акта самоповреждения.

Для окружающих же такое поведение является глупостью, дурью или «дешевым способом привлечь к себе внимание». Родители, другие близкие люди сначала приходят в ужас и пытаются уговорами и угрозами убедить больше так не делать. Но самоповреждение — это не разовое провокационное поведение, а тяжелый (для всех, и в первую очередь для самого подростка) симптом. А как все симптомы он не может быть полностью контролирован. Поэтому такие уговоры, а тем более угрозы, как правило сопровождающиеся внутренним страхом, отвращением и ужасом родителей, не приводят ни к чему, кроме того что их дочь или сын начинают скрывать как шрамы, так и свои переживания. Да и семьи пытаются скрыть этот факт от окружающих, расценивая его как позор и дефект/провал их воспитания, испытывая давление стыда, страха, вины.

Как правило это делают люди с очень высокой чувствительностью к окружающему миру. Они способны тонко чувствовать и переживать сильные эмоции, испытывать сильную психическую боль. Боль настолько сильна, что они причиняют себе физическую боль, чтобы психическая боль «успокоилась». Однако проблема эта гораздо сложнее и шире, чем кажется на первый взгляд.

ddfccc08fff00fa11a9ffa62e6724485Мифы и факты о порезах и самоповреждениях

По поводу самоповреждения распространено множество мифов. Стороннему человеку совершенно непонятно, зачем что-то делать с собой, ведь это больно и могут остаться следы. Странно и непонятно, зачем делать это сознательно и по доброй воле. Кто-то просто пугается, у других немедленно возникают идеи о ненормальности, о каких-то жутких комплексах, мазохизме и т.д. Часть сразу выдает готовые псевдопсихологичные объяснения, которые в большинстве случаев попадают абсолютно мимо. Часто говорят, что:

Миф: Люди которые режут себя или наносят иные самоповреждения таким образом пытаются привлечь внимание

Факт: Болезненная правда в том, что те кто наносит себе такие самоповреждения держат это в тайне. Согласитесь, странно пытаться привлекать внимание так, чтобы об этом никто не знал. Человек, наносящий себе повреждения не пытается таким образом ни манипулировать, ни привлечь внимание. Последствия самоповреждений, обычно, всячески скрывают — носят одежду с длинными рукавами, наносят повреждения там, где никто не видит, рассказывают о соседских кошках. Страх и стыд за свои действия приводит к тому, что они не только очень редко обращаются за помощью, но и всячески скрывают свои действия.

Миф: Люди которые наносят себе самоповреждение сумасшедшие или /и опасны.

Факт: Действительно часто такие люди до этого сталкивались с расстройством пищевого поведения (анорексия), у них могла быть депрессия или психологическая травма – также как у миллионов других людей. Самоповреждение – это то как они справляются. Навешивание ярлыков “сумасшедший” или “больной” никак не поможет.

Миф: Люди наносящие себе повреждения хотят умереть

Факт: Обычно таки подростки не хотят умереть. Когда они наносят повреждения они не пытаются себя убить, они так пытаются справиться с болью. Как бы это не парадоксально звучало, таким образом они таким способом помогают себе жить. Конечно, среди людей, которые наносят себе повреждения, количество попыток суицида больше. Но даже те, кто такие попытки совершает, все же разделяют, когда они пытаются умереть, а когда причинить себе боль или сделать что-то подобное. А многие наоборот никогда всерьез о самоубийстве не задумывались.

Миф: Если раны не глубокие и не опасные, то не все так уж серьезно.

Факт: Опасность ран не имеет никакого отношения к силе страдания человека. Не судите по силе повреждений, здесь значим сам факт нанесения порезов.

Миф: Все это проблемы «девочек-подростков».tumblr_static_70gmpsgolngg4kc84kckgs40g

Факт: Не только. Проблема-то как раз совершенно разных возрастов. Если раньше считалось, что существенно больше женщин, то сейчас соотношение чуть ли не выравнивается.

Предупреждающие знаки, что близкий человек наносит себе порезы или иные самоповреждения

Поскольку одежда может скрывать физические повреждения а внутреннее смятение может быть спрятано за внешним безразличием, близкие люди часто ничего не замечают. Но есть определенные признаки (и помните, Вам не обязательно быть полностью уверенным и иметь 100%-ые доказательства, чтобы поговорить со своим ребенком, другом и предложить помощь):

—           непонятные и необъяснимые шрамы, порезы, ожоги, ушибы, синяки, как правило на запястьях, руках, бедрах или груди.

—           пятна крови на одежде, полотенцах, или салфетки со следами крови.

—           острые и режущие предметы, такие как лезвия, ножи, иголки, осколки стекла или крышки от бутылок в личных вещах.

—           частые несчастные случаи. Люди склонные к самоповреждению часто жалуются на свою неуклюжесть или несчастные случаи, чтобы объяснить свои повреждения.

—           для того чтобы скрыть повреждения, такие люди часто носят одежду с длинными рукавами или брюки даже в жару.

—           необходимость находится одному продолжительное время в спальне или в ванной, самоизоляция и раздражительность.

747fed6c59955ca57478a01921e3014e
Самоповреждение — это способ. Способ бороться и частично справляться с болью, со слишком сильными эмоциями, с болезненными воспоминаниями и мыслями, с навязчивыми состояниями. Да, это способ парадоксальный, но это единственный выход который был найден! Иногда это попытка справиться со слишком сильными эмоциями, облегчить боль и почувствовать реальность. Физическая боль отвлекает от душевой боли и возвращает в реальность. Конечно, всерьез это не выход, всех проблем не решает, но для человека это пусть кратковременно, но работает. У каждого причина и суть проблемы своя, они связана со своей личной историей, со своей невыразимой словами и непосильной болью, или ужасом, или виной, или отчаянием. Те невыносимые чувства, которые не облекаются в слова находят свое разрешение в действии. Они могут носить ритуальный характер, защищающие от чего-то неотвратимого, умиротворяющие другие навязчивости, или являться следствием перенаправления агрессии адресованной любимому человека на себя. Причин может быть множество, и важно понять ту, что является истинной для конкретного человека.

Что же делать? Психологические проблемы не означают немедленного психического заболевания и тем более больницы. Но если это случилось нужно проконсультироваться с психотерапевтом (то ли с психоаналитиком, то ли с психологом, то ли с психиатром). И вряд ли терапия будет краткосрочной, так как такая симптоматика говорит о том, что психика долго выстраивала защиты и психическая боль очень сильна, к ней нельзя будет сразу же подступиться. Подростки ищут понимания и, в то же время, тщательно оберегают свой внутренний мир от назойливых вторжений. Они хотят поговорить, но не могут себя выразить. Потому, возможно, лучшим собеседником в этот момент станут не родители, которым трудно оставаться пассивными слушателями, а посторонний человек, и если нет возможности обратиться к психотерапевту, кто-то из родственников или знакомых, кто сможет побыть рядом, посочувствовать и не запаниковать.

Но, если подобное поведение становится повторяющимся или привычным, лучше, не откладывая, обратиться за помощью.

Помощь психотерапевта будет результативней, если у подростка будет поддержка семьи, если на него не будут смотреть как на предателя и сумасшедшего, которому нельзя доверять. К сожалению, по опыту, в тех случаях, когда подросток под давлением вроде как находит некоторое социально более приемлемое решение (татуировки, пирсинг, к примеру), постепенно появляются новые и часто более тяжелые симптомы, так как внутри-психические боль и конфликт не наши своего разрешения.

 

Запись на консультацию: +38-044-388-09-33, +38-050-330-09-33

 

Молчаливый крик о помощи — самоповреждения (Self-Harm): 617 комментариев

  1. Здравствуйте Елена ,
    Читаю Вашу статью и как-буд то о своей дочери читала . Моей дочке 13 лет, эта проблема у нас уже два года длится . Живём в Нидерландах , голландские специалисты до сих пор так и не смогли нам ничем помочь ., разводят руками и говорят , что у меня ооочень сложный подросток, с очень сложными и тяжёлым характером ….Мало того, завирались её у меня и теперь она живёт среди других таких же » проблемных » подростков , под присмотром не мед.персонала , не психологов и психиатров, а просто воспитателей , молодых социальных работников , я в шоке … А не отдать не могла, заставили , иначе пошли бы в суд ..
    Её переезд туда ничем не ей помог, к сожалению ..
    Помогите нам пожалуйста !
    Зараннее благодарю!
    С уважением Ирина

  2. Что делать подростку если причин для самоповреждений нет, но хочеться снова почуствывать всё то что испытывал во время этого процеса как будто ломка у наркомана?

  3. Что мне делать если я не могу рассказать о селфхарме маме так как она не поймет и просто наорёт на меня (проверено)? Не могу рассказать взрослым так как маму лишат родительских прав. Подруга сказала, что мне просто скучно. Обратиться к психологу я не могу потому, что нет денег.

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